Shocking New GOP Poll Results

You may have heard that polls have recently been released showing that 63% of Republicans believe Obama is a socialist…and that 11% of Conservatives think that Hawai’i is not part of the United States, or were unsure*. Yeah. 

What other squiggly things lie under that rock? Let’s get our gloves on and find out!

THE TOP 10 RESULTS OF REPUBLICAN POLLS

10.      71% think the word “socialism” actually means mandatory gay-marriage 
 9.        32% think Bo Obama controls interest rates at the World Bank

8.        43% think the war with Iran is going on too long

7.        80% participated in the survey just for the free am/fm radio they gave away as a prize (Ed.--useful for imminent race war, perhaps?)

6.        24% are currently taking shelter from the DC snow storms in senate minority leader Mitch McConnell’s jowls 

5.        11% think “retard” is an acceptable insult

4.        89% think “gay” is an acceptable insult

3.        58% want the government out! of their federal highway system, tap water, and  fire department

2.        23% believe Tupac lives, yo

WAIT for it-- the Number #1 shocking new poll result is.... 

1.        117% of Republicans believe FOX News really is “fair and balanced” !!!

*Source http://www.publicpolicypolling.com/pdf/surveys/2009_Archives/PPP_Release_National_819513.pdf

Also: On DailyKos