Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Not at all St. Patty's-themed, but here's a sketch!


SKELETEL: MOBILE PHONE SERVICE FOR THE DEAD
Copyright Penny Hollaway 2010

Characters:
SPOKESMAN (Like the VERIZON GUY)
FEMALE OPERATOR
ZOMBIE CUSTOMER
ZOMBIE WHITE GUY 
ZOMBIE LADY
ZOMBIE BLACK GUY
GHOST
VAMPIRES
ZOMBIE MOB
CALLER


(OPEN ON CALL CENTER WITH CUBICLES)

SPOKESMAN (V.O)
There's a new mobile phone company
that's leaving others...in the
dust.

FEMALE OPERATOR 
(over the shoulder shot,
she is facing a computer screen,
we only see the back of
her head )

Skeletel Mobile phone service for
the dead. How may I help you?

ZOMBIE CUSTOMER (V.O)
Hegh! Arrgh! Brains!!!

FEMALE OPERATOR
Let me connect you.


(CUT TO FIELD
AT NIGHT)
SPOKESMAN
Finally a mobile phone service made
just for you-

(CUT TO ZOMBIE
WHITE GUY ON
PHONE)

ZOMBIE WHITE GUY 
Hengh! Raaa!

SPOKESMAN (V.O)
With no contract as long as you
remain undead-

(SPLIT SCREEN
AS ZOMBIE WHITE GUY 
TALKS ON PHONE
TO ZOMBIE LADY)
ZOMBIE LADY
Arrgh! Brains?

SPOKESMAN (V.O)
And, with all the convenience
you've come to expect. You can pay
your bill online by credit card, or
at one of our stores, with cash,
check or brains

(SPLIT SCREEN 4
WAYS)
(4 ZOMBIES chatting on
mobile phones)

ZOMBIE BLACK GUY
Where the brains at? Hengh!

SPOKESMAN (V.O)
So if you are the kind of dead guy
who is more interested in a data
plan than a burial plan--

(SCREEN SPLITS
6 WAYS )
(Four zombies from cast plus Farah Fawcett & the
guy VP Dick Cheney shot in the face while hunting are
talking on mobile phones)

SPOKESMAN
Whether you're undead or just plain old dead-dead, 
craving blood, brains, or just revenge, we've 
got a plan for all of you--

(CUT TO GHOST)
(offscreen hand gives mobile phone to GHOST, who lacks the
density to hold it and drops it)

SPOKESMAN
We've got the network that goes all
the places YOU go
(CUT TO
SPOKESMAN
BURIED IN A
CASKET)
(Phone rings, SPOKESMAN opens eyes, turns and answers phone)
(SHOT OF GRAVE
WITH HEADSTONE)
SPOKESMAN
(muffled) WHA wa wa wawa?

(ADDA: Can you hear me now?)
(CUT TO
VAMPIRES IN A
DARK ALLEY)
(Several vampires are texting)

SPOKESMAN
So don't let your mobile plan bleed you dry

(VAMPIRES notice camera operator, start moving fiendishly towards him, camera drops and camera operator runs away, sound of footsteps running away)

(CUT TO: ADDA: Verizon's 
red 3G coverage 
map appears 
normally then 
is slowly 
covered in blood)
SPOKESMAN
Other mobile carriers brag about
their coverage... but if it's dead zones 
you're looking for, look no further than Skeletel!

With special features for the
undead, like voice-dialing for
those with lost appendages-

FEMALE OPERATOR
(in an pre-recorded, automated voice)
To dial by name, press 1 or say,
"Aargh",

(Sound of "1" being pressed)

Now dialing: Dick Cheney
(CUT TO A
CEMETARY AT
NIGHT)
SPOKESMAN
(standing atop a hill)
Sign up now and get free unlimited
calling to some of the places you call
the most: Like Purgatory, Indiana, and 
all 10 circles of Hell.

And! Go to skeletel.com and download
free skins for your touchscreen
(CROWD OF
ZOMBIES APPEARS
BEHIND
SPOKESMAN)
ZOMBIE MOB
Skins! Hengh! Raa! SKINS!!!!

ZOMBIES reach for SPOKESMAN menacingly.

SPOKESMAN
(Beginning to look alarmed, starts walking away briskly from
ZOMBIES, they follow him down the hill, he begins running)

Can anybody hear me now? AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
(CUT BACK TO
CALL CENTER )
FEMALE OPERATOR
(Turns from computer to face camera, the FEMALE OPERATOR is a
skeleton with a wig on)

Skeletel Mobile service...for us,
by us. Ah haha ha ha ha!
(CUT BACK TO
SPOKESMAN IN
CEMETARY)
CALLER (V.O)
(As SPOKESMAN is being torn apart by ZOMBIES)
You're breaking up!

(SPOKESMAN's arm is thrown through the shot)



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