Time Machine: A Few Years In the Future, After Healthcare Begins Its Assault on Our Way of Life....

THE SUNSHINE COMMISSION

(c)2010 Penny Hollaway

CHARACTERS:

JOSHUA, 7 years old

MOM,

MALE ANNOUNCER,

FEMALE ANNOUNCER,

FREE SPIRITED LADY,

GRANNY, elderly woman in housedress

( OPEN ON: KITCHEN IN SUBURBS)

( MOM is seated at table)

(JOSHUA enters with bookbag.)

JOSHUA

I accidented in my pants today at

school, Momma.

MOM

Oh, sweetheart...

JOSHUA

Madison Mendez told me that she is    

going to report me to the

"Department of Homeland Youth In

Asia." Cuz I spit in her purple

play-dough.

She said that Sarah Palin was on TV

sayin' that the president will make

(annunciates awkwardly)

"mild-artistic" kids like me into

glue.

(JOSHUA cries and rubs his eyes)
con't after the jump-------->

MOM

Oh, Josh, don't worry!

The Department of Homeland

Euthanasia is nothing to be afraid

of! It's what helps America

progress!

Our President Obama has even given

it a new name, The Sunshine

Commission.

(MOM comforts JOSHUA)

(CUT TO SKY

WITH CLOUDS

PARTING & SUN

RISING)

FEMALE ANNOUNCER

(voice over)

(soothing, upbeat voice)

It really is a bright, new day at

the Sunshine Commission.

Imagine not having to stress

yourself out worrying if you are too old, challenged, or otherwise

un-viable for actually contributing

meaningfully to society. Especially if you are old. 

President Obama's Sunshine

Commission is here to help you

reach a legally-binding decision on

all of your life-ending needs and

wishes.

(CUT TO BEACH,

FREE-SPIRITED

LADY RIDING ON

HORSEBACK AT

SUNSET)

FREE SPIRITED LADY

I can swim, play tennis, go for a

run...I don't have to think about

what my disabled--wait, sorry--

(looks away, pained expression)

"non-contributing" son Jaden is

doing. 

(takes a deep breath and grins wildly)

The Sunshine Commission gave him to

a nice farm family! Thats what his

Case Administrator said!

(rides off into sunset)

MALE ANNOUNCER

That's right, Janet! No need to be reminded of

how the Lord punished you for

demonstrating at that anti-war

rally!


But The Sunshine Commission is so

much more...


(turns and faces other camera)

Are you a Senior Citizen, nearing the

blossoming of your obsolescence?

Well, you don't have to trouble

your nutrient-rich little heads

anymore--The Sunshine Commission

has eliminated the terrifying

prospect of expensive hospital

stays and futile end-of-life care.

(CUT TO A SCENE

OF A GRANNY ON

HER SOFA IN A

FLOWERY

HOUSEDRESS)

(GRANNY flips through channels on TV, finds infommercial for

personal hygiene wiping stick, "Freedom Wand" and sighs in

resignation)

(turns to camera)

GRANNY

Sometimes, enough IS enough.

(CUT TO KITCHEN

SCENE)

MALE ANNOUNCER

(facing off camera)

That's right, Mrs. Felderstein.

(facing camera again)

Imagine not having to stick around

to have your shameful private parts

wiped by resentful minimum wage

ACORN flunkies in some ghastly

beige strip mall retirement home.

Now you can have all of your

meaning-of-life questions answered

by the benevolent authority of the

Federal Government.

JOSHUA'S MOM

Now, isn't healthcare reform fun?

(MOM and JOSHUA smile and nod at each other)

MOM

(MOM directs question to MALE ANNOUNCER)

But what about special-needs kids

like my Joshua?

MALE ANNOUNCER

(speaks to camera)

Are you or someone the Lord has

punished you with, Developmentally

Challenged?

Now, every citizen of Limited

Ableness can--

and will--

participate in an Omnibus Auditing

Assessment and come away knowing

for sure, 

"Should they....?"

JOSHUA

Sounds neat, Momma!

JOSHUA'S MOM

(speaking directly into camera)

You see--It wasn't little Josh's

fault I ate sushi off of a Teflon

pan every single day of my

pregnancy and didn't quit my job at

the dry cleaning plant!

But now my little Josh can pull himself up by

his bootstraps and find out his

very own Social Contribution

Quotient. 

Should he score under an

"8", he will know it's time to

visit the "President's Office of

Opt-out Initiatives."

It's never been easier!

Or more mandatory.

(returns to conversation with JOSHUA, opens official-looking

letter from kitchen table)

JOSHUA

(points to letter)

Does that say that I get to beat up

Madison Mendez?

JOSHUA'S MOM

(phony laugh) Oh, honey! These are

the results of your assessment.

You passed! 

So no glue rendering plant for you, little guy! 

Not this fiscal year...

(JOSHUA, MOM, and MALE ANNOUNCER laugh together)

FEMALE ANNOUNCER

(voice over)

The Sunshine Commission. Healthcare reform you can believe in.